I'm really into asian looking animals
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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