Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Randomize
