i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
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