If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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