Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
