i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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