I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
