she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
