I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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