a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
