She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
