He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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