yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
