be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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