I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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