I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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