no, he came in my armpit
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
