Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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