mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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