I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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