is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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