you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
