its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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