how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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