I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
