Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
