oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
