i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
