Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
There's even glitter on my cock...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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