She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
