from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
