So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
