toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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