Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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