You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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