I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
