Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You are a genius and a whore.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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