I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
