In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
