the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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