No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
