im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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