remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
