a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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