If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize