I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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