how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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