Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
