Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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