i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
she smelled like a LAN party
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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