whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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