I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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