My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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