Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
