Buhtt sex?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
