The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just found a bag of teeth...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
