It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
