Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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