My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
