sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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